SpiderMa
by Fear Master
Summary: Ranma's dad is... SPIDER-MAN!


Would you believe it came to me in a dream?

* * *

Spider-Ma: No, that ain't no typo.

The one called Prologue.

* * *

Peter Parker sighed. It had been two months since his wife, Mary Jane Watson, had died, and one month since he had realized that she never was his one true love, like he had thought. He had been growing irritable and angry since then, and he knew it was only going to get worse.

The news wasn't helping much, either, and just reminded him of the horrible truth. There were no more villains for him to fight. He had made sure of that the day before.

Most would think he would be happy about this, but then, most didn't really know Spider-man. The sad truth of it, was that Peter was a junkie. A junkie of differing sorts, of course, but still a junkie.

He was addicted to protecting people. And now he had nobody left to protect, and no maniacs to stop.

He knew he could get over it, of course, but he also knew he'd need help. He'd need somebody to protect, but who would need his protection less and less over time. Like a patch. Like a kid.

He'd had a kid, once. It came from a brief affair, but the mother had put the boy up for adoption, because she couldn't keep him, and she had to go home to Japan, anyhow. From what he could tell, she had been a very traditional Japanese woman. He had loved her, and missed her from time to time, even after he married MJ.

Maybe he'd try and find her. That would cheer him up. Yes, he'd find her, maybe even marry her.

Filled with hope, and resolve, he started to leave, and find his love.

But the phone started ringing. It would have to wait a few minutes.

"Hello?"

"Peter-kun?"

"Nodoka-chan! Is it really you?"

"Yes, Peter. It is I. And I have good news."

"Oh Nodoka-chan, you don't know how I've missed…"

"Shush, Peter. I know. And I've missed you, too. But no longer, because you are going to find our son, and bring him here. It has been a long two years since last I saw you, and I have finally managed to convince my family to accept you, even though you are an American."

"Are you serious, Nodoka-chan? We-we can be together, finally?"

"Indeed, my love, but please hurry, and come to me soon. I will see you shortly, I hope?"

"Yes, yes you will. But now I have to go find our son!"

"Wait, you must know my address, first. I live at…"

Peter grinned as he jotted down the information, and ended the call. It looked like the old Parker luck was kicking in again.

And as turned off the TV, and sped out the door, he could hear the TV say one last thing before clicking off.

"…s twenty-four hours since The Spider's Revenge has ended, and police are still picking up the pieces of the Hobgoblin, Venom, _and_ Carnage…"

* * *

"This is him?"

"Indeed."

The Social Services representative was rather incensed. The little brat had BIT him! Worse, the kid was unbelievably strong. Which explains why there was a small boy locked in the back of a car, making faces in the window.

"We've done a hefty background check on you, Parker, and find that you are indeed fit to have your son back. Just sign these papers and the little brat is yours."

Peter did just that, and frowned.

"He has no name?"

"Nobody could stand him long enough to give him one."

The boy licked the window once, then just sat in the car and watched. His face was tired from making faces, and the window tasted funny.

"If I may warn you, watch out for that wild brat's bite, you'd think he was a horse!"

Peter thought on that, and smiled. Wild Horse. Ranma. Nodoka would love that name.

"Well, time to go, Ranma my boy!" And with that, Peter opened the door, named his son, and put him on his shoulders in one movement.

* * *

And so, Peter Parker went to Japan, where he married Nodoka Saotome, and presented to her their son. He joined the Saotome clan, and they all lived happily.

For about three months.

"What?!"

"I have it right here in writing, kiddo. 'I, Happosai, am entitled to the Saotome of my choice, to have as my student.' It is even signed by your father. And I deem you, Peter, to be the only one capable of even surviving my training."

"But what of my son?" Peter asked.

"You may visit him every so often." Happosai was feeling rather generous that day, after all. He had found the PERFECT student, why it probably would only take the boy two years to become a master of the school!

And so Peter became the evil troll's student.

Poor guy.

* * *

Three months later…

A man rushed towards Peter, seemingly enraged. "PARKER!"

With a shudder, Peter turned and came face to face with somebody he never thought he'd see again. Mac Gargan. The Scorpion. Bracing himself to meet the end, Peter closed his eyes and screamed as he was…

Hugged?

"It is so great to see you again, Parker! How have you been?"

Confused, Peter replied, "Why am I not dead? Why are you happy to see me?"

"Parker, you put me in an asylum, and I got help. I'm free. I'm sane. I paid my debt to society, and I have you to thank for it. But I had to leave the country and change my name. Too many wanted me dead.

"After I left, I thought I'd never be able to thank you. But now I can, and I can repay my debt to you, as well!"

"Debt?"

"Yeah. I decided, if I do one thing, anything, you ask of me, it should repay my debt."

Peter, by this time, was at his nerve's end. Not because of Scorpion. No, he was at the end long before Scorpion appeared.

He used to think that his enemies in New York were evil. After three months with Happosai, though, he knew true evil.

So it is quite understandable that he put his foot in his mouth, and replied, "I don't care what you do! JUST DON'T LET ME SUFFER ALONE!"

Which is how Happosai came upon another perfect student.

* * *

Peter Saotome had tears running down his face. His best friend in the world did too.

Said best friend used to be known as Scorpion, and was once a bitter enemy. Now he was known as Mac Tendo, father of one, stepfather of two, and fellow student of Happosai.

He also had tears running down his face.

The aforementioned tears were because of one thing. Their beloved master had fallen down a hole and got trapped by a landslide. Not even they would be able to get him out in time, so they simply stared and grieved.

Three years of being with the old man, and they had actually grown rather fond of him, especially after they cured him of his little addiction.

And so they grieved for hours.

Then finally, as if inspired by the gods, they turned to each other and said, "Let us join our families in memory of our beloved master!"

And so Ranma Saotome became engaged to Akane Tendo.

Funny how things work out, isn't it?

* * *

End of file.

* * *

Author's notes: Heh. Heheh. BWAHAHAHAHAAA!

Believe it or not, this idea actually came to me in a dream, and I just wanted to put it out there. I may write more of it, or it may fade into obscurity. Fun to write, though.


End file.
